The Joys of Flying

I have tried to explain to friends and coworkers that flying to Asia should be done at least once in their lifetime. It's a different perspective in culture, society, etiquette, and urbanity compared to our usual western culture of consumerism. People often ask as a follow up, "how long is the flight?" I tell them it is typically a 15.5 hour flight. The response varies but the general consensus is a resounding "yikes". The flight can be tedious. Ok I can't under estimate it. It IS tedious. It is the kind of tedious that can make you cry for your mom. It can make you scream (or sleep) in agony. Your butt becomes sore then becomes painless due to the numbness.

So the next question is, what do you do when you are on the plane for 15 hours? So here is what I did pretty much by the hour on my flight from Toronto to Hong Kong. It is so riveting that I highly recommend everyone to do the same.

Hour 1: Refreshments, Read, and Nap

Hour 2: Lunch and more refreshments, and Read

Hour 3: Read and Nap

Hour 4: Read and Nap

Hour 5: Walk, Read and Nap

Hour 6: Walk and Read

Hour 7: Nap

Hour 8: Mr. Noodles as snack, more refreshments, and watching two boring episodes of Portlandia.

Hour 9: Read and Nap

Hour 10: Read and Nap

Hour 11: Walk and Read

Hour 12: Walk and Nap and new found appreciation for Franco white rap artists Ale Dee

Hour 13: Read

Hour 14: Breakfast!

Hour 15: Cabin pressure causes my ear to almost explode.

Hour 16: Arrived in Hong Kong

So as a seasoned traveler who has done the Trans-Pacific flight more times than I want to admit, here are a few tips:

1. You ain't going anywhere once you board the plane. Just quit screaming like a baby and deal with it.

2. Buy snacks like timbits and cookies. Depending on the airline, they will feed you well, but the odd snack will assure you that you are not in prison. What I also did in Hong Kong coming home, was to buy fried rice as a take out. That way, you can eat whenever you want on the plane, and you can make other passengers grossly jealous.

3. Buying bottles of water is a must. Depending on the airline they will provide cups or even entire bottles. I buy a bottle or two to keep myself hydrated, and in the situation that the air crew does not offer water. A five hour flight may be short to not be an issue, but a 12+ hour flight will be excessively long. Dry nostrils and throat is very common. Buy after going through security.

4. Walk around the plane (when not in turbulence of course) to loosen your joints and improve posture. Also makes you sane.

5. Wear comfortable clothes. You aren't going to win an award as the best dressed passenger so save your designer polo shirt and denim at your destination. During this trip I actually wore house slippers. Its so comfortable to not constrain your feet into shoes.

6. Entertain yourself. Remember those poor dogs who are thrown into dog kennels along with a toy and is forced to entertain themselves for hours while the master goes to work or shopping? Well that's you on the plane! Now you know what that Chester, or Spot, or Gertrude the lab feels like!

Well thats it. Now you are prepared to go to Hong Kong and/or Tokyo. Now Go!